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Getting Jiggy With Janice

from The Edward Show Musics Album (Comedy Songs) by Edward Filch

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lyrics

Janice! Oh Janice! What are you doing?
You're prancing about and your bloomers are showing!
The ventriloquist's giving away gottles of gear
And you've guzzled them all
Just look at your leer!
Just look at your leer, Janice!

There'll be no getting jiggy with Janice today
There's no chance that she will be having her way
No getting jiggy with Janice tonight
I have the impotence, and she looks such a fright

Janice! No! It's out of the question
There'll be no performing on this medication
I can't get it up, and my ticker is dicky
You'll have to look elsewhere if you want a quickie

Janice! Please stop!
I'm reading the papers
I haven't the time
For these saucy capers
You have other options
So leave Edward be
We have very different definitions of BBC!

There'll be no getting jiggy with Janice this morning
I'd rather read Tolstoy, even if it's boring
There'll be no getting jiggy with Janice next week
I've arrived prematurely
And I appear to have sprung a leak

Janice oh Janice
I can't fill your gaps in
You might need to bring a much younger chap in
To tend to your wild and insatiable needs
I'll be downstairs on the sofa, just napping, you see
So please keep the volume down, dear!

Janice! Janice! What are you doing?
You sound like a cow, with all of that mooing
The shrieks and the panting
They keep me awake
And I've been listening to them
All bloody day

There'll be no getting jiggy with Janice tomorrow
I don't have the strength, so she might need to borrow
A stud from the farm
(That's what they call the local nightclub)
it's grab a granny on Wednesday's, you know.

credits

from The Edward Show Musics Album (Comedy Songs), released September 5, 2018

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Pete Murphy Birmingham, UK

Pete Murphy, UK songwriter. I make unpopular music in numerous styles... everything recorded, performed, mixed, and mastered by me in a tiny corner of the lounge in my house. Avant pop, experimental, electronic, techno, solo jazzy piano, techno jazz, rock, musicals, sound art, comedy, and more... ... more

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